EPISODE 200 - BIG FATTY PLAYS THE VOICE OF IKK'S FATHER!!

BIG FATTY IS THE VOICE OF IKK'S FATHER...

This will probably appear as the pre-titles scene of episode 200 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST.

IKK: (talking to the listeners)

Goodness - it's been a long day listeners... We've got episode 200 ahead of us - in fact it's about to start any minute now - but I'm going to try and slip in 40 winks during the title music... You're going to like this, I promise you - there's a lot going on! We have a Murder Mystery Weekend to take part in - but I'm never going to get through it if I don't have a little nap. So, that's what I'm planning on doing until I'm called for. I'm all curled up on the sofa nice and snug, drinking one of those HOT-CHOC-O-LATE drinks with some of those delicious March mallows whilst I watch pop-vid-e-os on the tubes. Right now I'm feeling very sleepy now, listeners... Ever so sleepy... Sleepy... Sleepy....

Sleepy...

Within seconds Ikk is asleep; snoring even! We hear the word "sleepy" echoing - but then hear a voice.

IKK'S DAD: (a little mysterious)

IKK! IKKKKK! DO YOU HEAR ME?

IKK: (nervously)

Ohh... Oh! Who is this? You're voice sounds familiar - but I can't place it... I'm trying to sleep, you know - I have a busy time coming up... I have to fly all the way to America from the UKKK in my space ship...

IKK'S DAD: (enthusiastically)

But Ikk - you ARE sleeping... I am speaking to you in your dream...

IKK: (surprised)

Goodness! How ever did you manage that!?

IKK'S DAD: (almost losing his temper)

Look, I don't have time to tell you that - I have a gentleman caller due any minute and I need to polish the special chair first...

IKK: (confused)

Oh my! Really? Hmm... You definitely DO sound familiar, father...

IKK'S DAD: (normal, then with more authority)

Shhh now... I have an important announcement to make... Okay... I hearby declare that there will be no more SHY LIFE PODCAST little shows ever again...

IKK: (over-the-top)

WHAT? NO! SURELY NOT... PLEASE NO, FATHER - HAVE PITY ON ME - ON MY FRIENDS - ON THE LISTENERS...

IKK'S DAD: (giving in, slightly dismissive)

Oh, alright then... I simply can't bear to hear a grown alien cry... You can keep going until episode 3000 and then you must stop...

IKK: (slightly more relaxed)

3000!! But that mean that there is only two thousand, eight hundred to go... Hmmm... Okay... Well... I guess that will be enough to deal with for at least a year or two... Mr Yeti is very prolific, you know...

IKK'S DAD: (reassuring)

So I've heard... I'm glad you've made yourself some nice friends on Planet Earth, little Ikk... It makes me and your Auntie Poodle very happy to hear it...

IKK: (enthused/concerned)

Thank you, Father... That's all I've ever wanted to do - make you both proud of me... You ARE proud of me, aren't you Father? FATHER? Are you still there?

IKK'S DAD: (distracted)

Oh yes? What? I was just clipping my toe-nails and got distracted... Yes, we're both very proud of you, Little Ikk... Now, listen... I've got to go now and it's time for you to wake up?

IKK: (taken aback)

Wake up!?! What? ALREADY!?!

IKK'S DAD: (taking control)

Yes... yes... Of course... Didn't you know? A very special episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST is about to begin - and you're needed... So wake up... Wake up Ikk...

IKK: (in protest)

But FATHER...

IKK'S DAD: (insistent)

Goodbye for now... Just wake up... Wake up, Ikk... Wake up...

PAUL'S VOICE: (insistent)

Wake up Ikk...

IKK: (surprised)

Oh, Paul! It's you!

PAUL: (apologetic)

What's up? Had you dropped off? Sorry - did I disturb you?

IKK: (still a little sleepy)

I think I had, yes... Sorry... What's up?

PAUL: (excited)

It's time for episode 200, Ikk... Time for you to wake up... Time for us to run the theme music and get ourselves moving... It's all going to be terribly exciting...

IKK: (excited too)

Ooooooh! 

This little script was written between 14th and 16th August 2018, with some slight revisions after this date...