Tuesday 4 December 2018

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2018

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2018

These are the episodes that I have released in 2018. I hope to discuss them with the following guests:

Trowby and Lisa     (135-154)
Nick Goodman        (155-174)
Jay The Hauntcub  (175-194) - recorded 04/12/18 (missed 180-184)
Toppie Smellie        (195-214?) - Tappie may also appear if she is available

Ikk The Alien (also briefly other regulars)

As I have recorded roughly 80 episodes I will break them up into 20 episode blocks and discuss those 20 episodes with the four main guests - with Ikk just discussing the last few with me, There will be some over-lap where, say - Nick appears in an episode in a block discussed by Toppie, maybe - but any additional notable episodes will be briefly mentioned as Paul introduces each guest.

Note: I may end up splitting the Review into two episodes (approx 90 mins each), but will see how much material I record and how many clips I use. (Clips and alternate episode links to be recorded Friday 7/12/18)

GUEST: TROWBY AND LISA

135: SHY YETI BIDS FAREWELL TO 2017 (2 Jan)
136: THE PAST! THE PRESENT! THE FUTURE! (6 Jan)
137: INVASION OF THE NERDS! (9 Jan)
138: PURRING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU! (14 Jan)
139: OUR ALIEN FRIENDS UP IN OUTER SPACE!! (19 Jan)
140: IKK GETS SICK!! (21 Jan)
141: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - JANUARY 2018 (24 Jan)
142: LOOK FOR AN IKK-LE CURE!! (28 Jan)
143: HELLO AGAIN, PICKLE HOLLOW!! (2 Feb)
144: HEADING BACK TO YESTERDAY... (9 Feb)
145: A HEART-SHAPED PIE (VALENTINES) (14 Feb)
146: OLD SONGS AND ALIEN BEAUTIES (1986) (17 Feb)
147: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - FEBRUARY 2018 (20 Feb)
148: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Scotland) (24 Feb)
149: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Lake District) (1 Mar)
150: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Lake Garda) (4 Mar)
151: IKK'S FIRST EXPERIENCE OF SNOW (8 Mar)
152: THINGS WE DON'T LIKE - AND SOME WE DO (12 Mar)
153: ALONE... WITH HOME MOVIES AND TINNED GIN! (17 Mar)
154: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - MARCH 2018 (20 Mar)

GUEST: NICK GOODMAN

155: CHIT-CHATTING ON OUR TRAVELS (24 Mar)
156: PEEPER-NAPPING AND OTHER FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!! (26 Mar) 
157: SHY YETI PLAYS THE FOOL!! (31 Mar)
158: SHY YETI'S EASTER HANGOVER (2 Apr)
159: WHEN HARRY MET YETI (AGAIN!) (3 Apr)
160: MUSIC ON YOUR BIRTHDAY (7 Apr)
161: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS (VACATION ED) (11 Apr)
162: WHAT I GOT UP TO ON FRIDAY THE 13TH (14 Apr)
163: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - APRIL 2018 (18 Apr)
164: LOTSL'S ONE AND ONLY DOCTOR STONE! (22 Apr)
165: IKK GETS A CHECK-UP!! (27 Apr)
166: GORDON THE CRYPT-KEEPER'S BELATED CHRISTMAS (2 May)
167: A WHOLE LOT OF RANDOM (6 May)
168: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - MAY 2018 (17 May)
169: THE THING FROM ANOTHER... WHIRLED!! (19 May)
170: AN INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST ANNIVERSARY!! (29 May) 
171: LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO BEVERLEY! (3 Jun)
172: INVADING THE AIRWAVES AGAIN... AND AGAIN... AND AGAIN! (7 Jun)
173: THE JUBILANT RETURN OF WIFEY JO!! (10 Jun)
174: 1987 IS FULL OF SONGS... (16 Jun)

GUEST: JAY THE HAUNTCUB

175: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - JUNE 2018 (20 Jun)
176: TWO VIPS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!! (22 Jun)
177: PRIDE48 LIVE SUMMER STREAMING EVENT - 2018 (26 Jun)
178: HOW TO TRAIN A TOUR GUIDE TO THE STARS!! (29 Jun)
179: SOMETHING TO CHEW OVER!! (1 Jul)
180: SHY YETI'S DANISH ADVENTURE! (7 Jul)
181: A SURPRISE LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - 08.07.18 (11 Jul)
182: CALL ME PIE YOUR NAME (15 Jul)
183: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - "OFFICIAL" JULY 2018 (19 Jul)
184: WHAT'S UP WITH SHY YETI!? (29 Jul)
185: CATCHING UP WITH NESSIE (4 Aug)
186: MAKE A DATE WITH IKK'S TRUE LOVE AGENCY!! (11 Aug)
187: THE PRINCESS AND THE FILM STAR... (12 Aug)
188: THE YETI AND THE NARCISSIST (14 Aug)
189: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - AUGUST 2018 (22 Aug)
190: SHY YETI SALUTES PRIDE48 (23 Aug)
191: YETI UNCLE JOHN'S LEAVING PARTY (2 Sep)
192: LOOK INTO MY EYES - ON THE RADIO!! (6 Sep)
193: A QUICK WAHEY DOWN IN OLD MARSEILLE! (11 Sep)
194: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - SEPTEMBER 2018 (17 Sep)

GUEST: TOPPIE SMELLIE

195: I SHOULD BE SO POPPY!! (23 Sep)
196: SHY YETI RIDES THE BROMPTON TIME-MACHINE (26 Sep)
197: LONG LOST COUSIN ALGERNON IS FOUND!! (29 Sep)
198: SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR AWAY... (4 Oct)
199: AN INVASION OF SHELVING IMPS! (8 Oct)
200: MURDER, HE GROWLED!! (19 Oct)
201: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - OCTOBER 2018 (24 Oct)
202: REBELLIOUS SPOOKS AND ROBOT SEANCES (HALLOWEEN) (26 Oct)
203: SHY YETI GETS "THE LOOK" (OF 1989!) (29 Oct)
204: AN EAR-WORM NAMED TODD! (4 Nov)
205: SHY YETI AND THE MYSTERIES OF VIENNA (15 Nov)
206: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - NOVEMBER 2018 (20 Nov)
207. "THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY..." (22 Nov)
208. "WELL, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO, YEAH!" (28 Nov)
209: SHY YETI'S BUSY WEEK AWAY! (2 Dec)
210: SHY YETI'S BIG DINNER DATE! (6 Dec)
211:
212:
213:
214:

Any episodes after this point... Ikk and I will discuss...

A BRIEF REMINDER OF THE KEY POINTS OF EACH EPISODE...


GUEST: TROWBY AND LISA


135: SHY YETI BIDS FAREWELL TO 2017 (2 Jan)

Last episode of 2017, but not released until 2018. Paul the team are nearly exploded by Zap.

136: THE PAST! THE PRESENT! THE FUTURE! (6 Jan)

Cromitty/Bettina look to the past. Ikk/Paul consider the present. YUJ /Dameus look to the future.

137: INVASION OF THE NERDS! (9 Jan)

First proper chat with Andy C about TV and how they met. Sutton Park clips etc.

138: PURRING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU! (14 Jan)

Cat talk with Nick, Mum and Trowby and Lisa.

139: OUR ALIEN FRIENDS UP IN OUTER SPACE!! (19 Jan)

Old recordings of alien songs and what Ikk's people thought when they met humans.

140: IKK GETS SICK!! (21 Jan)

Spring-cleaning in the library leads to Ikk getting sick when he eats something he shouldn't.

141: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - JANUARY 2018 (24 Jan)

Ikk's health gets even worse during the January Live Pride48 show!

142: LOOK FOR AN IKK-LE CURE!! (28 Jan)

Trowby and Lisa are called in to try and assist Ikk with his illness. Can they help?

143: HELLO AGAIN, PICKLE HOLLOW!! (2 Feb)

Paul and Toppie record again together and The Smellcast team merge with the Shy Life gang.

144: HEADING BACK TO YESTERDAY... (9 Feb)

Paul catches up with Wifey Jo and Paul revisits their old work - with plenty of SP clips.

145: A HEART-SHAPED PIE (VALENTINES) (14 Feb)

Bettina and Dameus reflect on their growing romantic relationship in our Valentine's Day edition.

146: OLD SONGS AND ALIEN BEAUTIES (1986) (17 Feb)

Nick and Paul talk about the music of 1986 on both sides of the pond; with anecdotes!

147: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - FEBRUARY 2018 (20 Feb)

Ikk attempts mind-reading our February live show - whilst Paul battles a cold.

148: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Scotland) (24 Feb)

Back in Summer 2017 the gang headed to Dunbar to hunt for Nessie - here is what happened!

149: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Lake District) (1 Mar)

Back in late Summer 2017 Paul and co. headed to the Lakes to contact Nessie. What occurred?

150: THE HUNT FOR NESSIE (Lake Garda) (4 Mar)

Back in November 2017 Paul missed a trip to Italy. Cromitty/Yeti Uncle John had their own agenda!

151: IKK'S FIRST EXPERIENCE OF SNOW (8 Mar)

Snow came late in 2018 and Ikk got to experience it for the first time. Adam B chats in London.

152: THINGS WE DON'T LIKE - AND SOME WE DO (12 Mar)

Paul and Nick things they like and things they don't and Paul mentions some favourite podcasts!

153: ALONE... WITH HOME MOVIES AND TINNED GIN! (17 Mar)

Paul is house-sitting for Nick and reflects on old Sutton Park episodes that still affect him to this day!

154: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - MARCH 2018 (20 Mar)

Chats about aliens. Recipes. Paul breaks down and Yeti Uncle John has big LIVE news.


GUEST: NICK GOODMAN


155: CHIT-CHATTING ON OUR TRAVELS (24 Mar)

Discussions with the regulars about travels both past and present - Sutton Park in France '98!

156: PEEPER-NAPPING AND OTHER FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!! (26 Mar) 

Zap steals Ikk's peepers. Cromitty and Martin help. Damens and Bettina have relationship issues.

157: SHY YETI PLAYS THE FOOL!! (31 Mar)

As part of an April Fool's joke Paul plans to upgrade his Shy Life Podcast regulars; offence is taken!

158: SHY YETI'S EASTER HANGOVER (2 Apr)

Short stories and Sutton Park clips - and the team learn that alien chocolate comes with quite a kick!

159: WHEN HARRY MET YETI (AGAIN!) (3 Apr)

Filming and some grumbling with Paul and Harry. Yeti Uncle John gets bad news about his new job. 

160: MUSIC ON YOUR BIRTHDAY (7 Apr)

Nick and Paul discuss the big musical hits from the years that they were born - 1968 and 1973!

161: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS (VACATION ED) (11 Apr)

Paul is on holiday, but answers questions from Nick, Trowby and Lisa and The Smellcast team.

162: WHAT I GOT UP TO ON FRIDAY THE 13TH (14 Apr)

Paul gets into the Friday The 13th spirit - hunts for spooks and has a silly chat with Toppie. 

163: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - APRIL 2018 (18 Apr)

It's our LIVE show and Paul receives messages from some ghosts who he met whilst on holiday!

164: LOTSL'S ONE AND ONLY DOCTOR STONE! (22 Apr)

Paul chats with Wes from L.O.T.S.L. about his favourite films, books, food, music, travel etc. 

165: IKK GETS A CHECK-UP!! (27 Apr)

Paul accompanies Ikk to the hospital for a check-up. Also poems, messages and Sutton Park clips.

166: GORDON THE CRYPT-KEEPER'S BELATED CHRISTMAS (2 May)

Paul has a misunderstanding with his friend Gordon and they record a Christmas episode in May!

167: A WHOLE LOT OF RANDOM (6 May)

Paul catches up with Nick G and Andy C and lots of random questions are launched! 

168: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - MAY 2018 (17 May)

Paul discusses his recent holiday and attempts to celebrate the 2nd anniversary of the show!

169: THE THING FROM ANOTHER... WHIRLED!! (19 May)

Something is lurking in the Library Podcasting Studios which may explain why Ikk got sick! 

170: AN INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST ANNIVERSARY!! (29 May) 

Paul celebrates the 10th bday of his book, SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION.

171: LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO BEVERLEY! (3 Jun)

This time our special guest is one of Paul's work colleagues - it's Beverley and she tells all! 

172: INVADING THE AIRWAVES AGAIN... AND AGAIN... AND AGAIN! (7 Jun)

We join Paul, Tim and Nathan on Radio Wey's Virtual Pub on three different occasions during 2018!

173: THE JUBILANT RETURN OF WIFEY JO!! (10 Jun)

Listeners questions and Paul and Wifey Jo; discuss the Royal Wedding, holiday plans & new music! 

174: 1987 IS FULL OF SONGS... (16 Jun)

Paul and Nick discuss the big hits of 1987 in UK and USA. Also poems, SP clips and "Cast-chat".


GUEST: JAY THE HAUNTCUB


175: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - JUNE 2018 (20 Jun)

The first of two LIVE shows in June. Anniversary poems! Chat with the regulars and the chat-room! 

176: TWO VIPS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!! (22 Jun)

Paul talks music with Bev from Work and with Toppie Smellie about coffee and imaginary picnics.

177: PRIDE48 LIVE SUMMER STREAMING EVENT - 2018 (26 Jun)

Paul and the team go LIVE! Nick opens the vinyl vault. Cuthbert asks questions. Zap causes trouble!

178: HOW TO TRAIN A TOUR GUIDE TO THE STARS!! (29 Jun)

Yeti Uncle John does some training before heading off to his new job up in  space. 

179: SOMETHING TO CHEW OVER!! (1 Jul)

Paul attempts to interview Leigh from Chewing The Cud podcast - but Zap is intent on interfering!

180: SHY YETI'S DANISH ADVENTURE! (7 Jul)

We follow Paul and Toby on their recent trip to Copenhagen; but something odd is going on...

181: A SURPRISE LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - 08.07.18 (11 Jul)

Paul conducts an impromptu LIVE show when his niece, Alena shows up in town... It's all very silly! 

182: CALL ME PIE YOUR NAME (15 Jul)

Paul tells a true story of what happened to Charlie Grrr when a pie called Charisma broke his heart!

183: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - "OFFICIAL" JULY 2018 (19 Jul)

Paul "baby-sits" Ikk's peepers - but all does not go smoothly...

184: WHAT'S UP WITH SHY YETI!? (29 Jul)

Shy Yeti is just back from a trip to Scotland and is acting oddly! What happened to make him so sad? 

185: CATCHING UP WITH NESSIE (4 Aug)

Paul heads to Scotland to catch up with Nessie - but some of the regulars are also on his trail...

186: MAKE A DATE WITH IKK'S TRUE LOVE AGENCY!! (11 Aug)

Ikk is considering starting up a dating agency and he discusses the world of romance with his friends.

187: THE PRINCESS AND THE FILM STAR... (12 Aug)

Paul chats with DJ Starsage and Princess Mykah from The Faraway Nearby about their Top 5 films!

188: THE YETI AND THE NARCISSIST (14 Aug)

Paul chats with his niece, Alena and they attempt to complete a narcissism survey!

189: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - AUGUST 2018 (22 Aug)

Paul and Nick talk LIVE on Pride48 and then there is further chatter with Trowby and Lisa!

190: SHY YETI SALUTES PRIDE48 (23 Aug)

Paul and Toppie throw their own Pride48 celebration in London - but things don't go to plan!

191: YETI UNCLE JOHN'S LEAVING PARTY (2 Sep)

Yeti Uncle John is thrown a leaving party and many old friends show - but John has a revelation!

192: LOOK INTO MY EYES - ON THE RADIO!! (6 Sep)

Zap intervenes to cause havoc just before Paul and co head back on Radio Wey for a big show!!

193: A QUICK WAHEY DOWN IN OLD MARSEILLE! (11 Sep)

Paul and Calum head to Marseille where Bettina and Dameus reveal some personal secrets! 

194: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - SEPTEMBER 2018 (17 Sep)

Nick G and Andy C are LIVE with Paul on the show - with Trowby and Lisa in extra material! 


GUESTTOPPIE SMELLIE


195: I SHOULD BE SO POPPY!! (23 Sep)

Paul and Nick discuss the big hits of 1988 on both sides of the pond! 

196: SHY YETI RIDES THE BROMPTON TIME-MACHINE (26 Sep)

A much-delayed episode sees Mr Yeti investigating a time-travelling mystery in London!

197: LONG LOST COUSIN ALGERNON IS FOUND!! (29 Sep)

Paul gets to chat with his long lost Cousin, Algernon - but Yeti Uncle John is very suspicious...

198: SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR AWAY... (4 Oct)

Paul, lured to another world, is reunited with his Other Dimensional self who has a big offer for him!

199: AN INVASION OF SHELVING IMPS! (8 Oct)

As he shows the team around his library Paul is embarrassed to find an invasion of Shelving Imps!

200: MURDER, HE GROWLED!! (19 Oct)

The Smellcast team help Paul with his Murder Mystery Weekend - but nobody expects a real murder! 

201: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - OCTOBER 2018 (24 Oct)

Paul is still a little shell-shocked after the events of episode 200 - but he soldiers on... LIVE!!!

202: REBELLIOUS SPOOKS AND ROBOT SEANCES (HALLOWEEN) (26 Oct)

Paul is dismayed to learn that many ghosts are on strike this year - Cuthbert tries to help him out!

203: SHY YETI GETS "THE LOOK" (OF 1989!) (29 Oct)

Paul and Nick discuss the big hits of 1989 in both the UK and the USA! 

204: AN EAR-WORM NAMED TODD! (4 Nov)

As a response to a recent Smellcast episode Paul tells his own story about having an "ear-worm!"

205: SHY YETI AND THE MYSTERIES OF VIENNA (15 Nov)

Paul and Toby head to Vienna - Cromitty accompanies them and some mysteries are revealed! 

206: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - NOVEMBER 2018 (20 Nov)

Paul presents clips and out-takes from recent recording and keeps in touch with the chat-room. 

207: "THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY..." (22 Nov)

Toppie and Yeti Uncle John try to encourage Paul to have a busy birthday; but Paul has other plans!

208: "WELL, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO, YEAH..." (28 Nov)

Paul catches up with friends at his birthday party back in London; but there is a trouble in the wings!

209: SHY YETI'S BUSY WEEK AWAY! (2 Dec)

Blah



210: SHY YETI'S BIG DINNER DATE! (6 Dec)

Blah

211:



212:



213:



214:

Sunday 11 November 2018

SHY LIFE PODCAST - EPISODE PLANS

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOWS - COMING SOON!!

Here we are in November and there are plenty of episodes in store and we're constantly recording new shows for you! Our schedule list does tend to change every time I post, but this is a good guide! 

Anyway, here is our current schedule!

206/207. Shy Yeti's Birthday 2018 - Part 1 and 2

I am planning 2-3 episodes around the time of my birthday - although I am recording them on my actual birthday so they probably won't be out until mid-November; watch this space!

208. The Two Paul's Show!

Paul catches up with his friend OtherPaul for an early birthday meal at a favourite restaurant - whilst the regulars experience an acute case of F.O.M.O.!

209. Live Pride48 Show - November 2018

Paul presents his live show for November - with more loopy extra material for those who download!

210. Catching Up With Cuthbert Computer!

Paul takes time out to catch up with Cuthbert - to find out about his favourite TV, music, food, books etc.

211. The Truth About The Murder Mystery Weekend!

It has taken a while but now we finally seem to have some answers about what ACTUALLY happened at the Murder Mystery Weekend back in October 2018 and the answers are REALLY going to shock you!

212. The Big Films Of 1972

Just for a change Nick and Paul discuss films - this time looking at the year 1972; also Aly (Nick's wife) chats to Paul about some of her favourite films and stage-plays. Recorded 27/10/18.

213. The Dragon And The Cacti!

Paul and Yeti Uncle John check in on Dragon Albert to see how he is getting on with Bert and Gert; John presumes that it will be a bit of a rescue mission - but they are both shocked by all that they find!!

214. Music From 1979

Nick and I discuss the big hits from 1979 on both sides of the pond; as recorded on 15/09/18.

### Additionally:

There will - most probably - be live shows every month; maybe even more than one closer to Christmas; but we also have plenty of other episodes either in planning or partially recorded.

### The New Caretaker / "Where's Me Booook!?"

What with Yeti Uncle John often being up in space - Bettina gives Paul the details of a caretaker who used to work on her Estate... It seems like a good idea until it becomes evident that this gentleman swings from being extremely lazy to shovelling every last thing into a bin bag... What ever will happen when he reaches the basement and finds all the tat in Cromitty's laboratory; what will happen to all those priceless Sutton Park tapes? For that matter will Cuthbert make it through the night!?!

### The Return Of Dameus The Interviewer

Dameus interviews all manner of podcasting celebrities as part of his return to the chat-show circuit.

### Re-connecting With The Past

Paul catches up with Cromitty and Martin and is excited to learn that Cuthbert has a few added advances that makes it possible to re-connect with the past via old episodes of SUTTON PARK... Ikk is slightly doubtful about it all - but he and Paul soon get to experience the process first-hand.

### Whatever Happened To Dusty The Scone-Eating Dandelion!?

Paul and the team receive a tip-off about an elusive acquaintance of theirs - Dusty The Scone-Eating Dandelion who went missing under mysterious circumstances some time ago... Will they be able to find him with the help of Martin and his detective pals!?

### Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

### The Great Bingo Scam

Someone is rigging the bingo so that they win - is it one of the regulars or someone more sinister?

### The Continuing Mystery Of Long Lost Cousin Algernon

A number of episodes that involve Martin's investigation into Long Lost Cousin Algernon. What will he find?

### Tales Of Deadiegrams

The regulars share their memories of times when they have encountered Deadiegrams in odd situations.

### Brocante Saves The Day?

Bettina needs to sell some of her treasures and Brocante The Antique Dealer is called in - but can he save the day?

### Gordon The Crypt-keeper In Need!

Gordon is back - but he has recently lost his job! Mr Yeti does his best to try and help him out...

### More About The Alien Book

We learn a little more about The Alien Book which made Ikk so unwell at the start of the year - but, of course - things are never simple.

### Charlie Grrr and The Pie With The Pastry Plummage!

If all goes to plan with a trip to Venice in May then I plan to a record a pie-related giallo spoof with Charlie Grrr and some of the other regulars! I can promise that it'll be super silly...

### Digging Into Unheard Of Places

Paul digs through the archives to find a few interesting conversations that never made it onto shows. This episode has been postponed due to technical difficulties during summer 2018 and was replaced with another episode, but will be rescheduled once more material has been set aside.

Interviews in November

Leigh

Erik
Carey
FreakQuency
Homer
Alena
Toppie (bday)
LOTSL?
Patrick
T&L (bday)
Wes (TV)
George in Atlanta

Long Term Plots

Dameus and Bettina


Dameus asks Bettina to marry him around Valentine's Day 2019 - she says no, but only because she has been having doubts related to Zap's mysterious death. They reconvene soon after and marry 300. Zap (or his twin brother Zip) shows up at the wedding!

Ikk

Haunted by Zap / also strives to find out what happened to Dusty.

Yeti Uncle John

Confused as to whether he should tell Paul that he is his father!

Paul

His relationship with Long Lost Cousin Algernon!

Cromitty

More hypnosis - possibly Zap planted problems in other characters that are yet to come out.

Martin

Working with his boss to solve crime!

Charlie, Albert, Cuthbert

Background characters - may have their own bubbling-under stories from time-to-time.

Scripts

Long-lost relative called Algernon - 2
Deadiegrams
Big Fatty at Xmas
New Brocante script
New cryptkeeper script

Next live show

November 2018

Trowby and Lisa trying to do tests on Cuthbert?


LISTENER QUESTIONS (JAY)

Please place them here. Thank you.


SATURDAY

Recording with TS - Skype / HEAF Canterbury

SUNDAY

Recording HEAF / FreakQ

MONDAY

Do a review for Trowby and Lisa - 1 (DS)
Diary - links for Freak Q -
Record with George
Record with Carey

TUESDAY

Diary? Canterbury?
Finish 2nd birthday episode if not done?

WEDNESDAY

Diary? Leigh...
Finish 2nd birthday episode if not done?
Singing
Cuthbert ep - poems
Bits links??

THURSDAY

BF message with Cuthbert
Cuthbert ep - main episode
Truth about the murder mystery weekend /
Diary?
Dragon ep?
Caretaker ep?


Do a review for Trowby and Lisa - 3 (Maggie and Her)

FRIDAY

Home Diary??


FORTHCOMING EPISODES

IDEAS FOR FUTURE EPISODES

Do a blog post about it...

Links, poems etc for Pickle Hollow polari

Another Brompton Time Travel episode - but with more cameos?

Do more about Cromitty hypnotising people to forget when he makes mistakes. One character is immune to him. Dameus after his recovery??

Next year ST GERTRUDE’S DAY SPECIAL All dressed as cats; portions of the show presented in cat only sections. Cat interviews!?! MARCH 17TH 2018...


I would like to go back to real Sutton Park
I would like to go on the Watercress line to record real steam train sounds

The Two Part Birthday Special - November 2018

Pt1. Toppie and John try to arrange a birthday party for Paul, but everyone is going to be away. Let’s arrange a party, but we need to surprise Paul on the day. But Paul is on birthday holiday retreat. Paul speaks to Toppie via Skype and pretends that he’s in Barcelona but he’s not. Paul and Toppie can also have a little natter about any other topics that come to mind. John blows Paul's story of being away and Toppie reveals that he is waiting for Ikk to pick him up so they can all have lunch together. Sadly Ikk's space ship is playing up again - it is too late for Toppie to get flights. Aunt Tappie wishes Paul happy birthday! Toppie has all the party food with him, so Paul and John just eat dry crackers. He reads a poem maybe and there are Sutton Park clips. He decides to cook, but sets the fire alarm off. Harry shows up and has big plans for his birthday!! Paul and John are slightly sceptical.

Pt2. Harry, John and the gang throw a belated birthday party for Paul back in London. All is well, only one of the guests is not what he/she appears. The podcasting world is shocked when Paul is turned to stone by one of his guests. Only to find that she is a gorgon. Martin and Ikk are on hand to solve the crime and to try and reverse the effects. Toppie calls in to the party via Skype, but maybe he also plays the gorgon. Harry will also be at the party. Includes cameos from Jo, Calum and Beverley.

May also record another episode or two whilst in Kent. One might be about going to Canterbury with Harry on my actual birthday.

THE DRAGON AND THE CACTI!!

Paul and Yeti Uncle John check in on Dragon Albert to see how he is getting on with Bert and Gert; John presumes that it will be a bit of a rescue mission - but they are both shocked by all that they find!!

The Robot Upgrade

Cromitty combines the two robots and the end result is terrifying!!

The Dameus and Bettina Story

Dameus is worried about their money situation. Paul finds him gambling in a casino - and wins 500 Euros. Ikk worries what may happen to Bettina having looked into an alternate future. Bettina is having to appear on awful tv shows. It’s not happening here, but what if it did?? Maybe she finds an envelope in an old hat box with valuable shares. She forgot all about them!!

LIVE PRUDE48 FESTIVAL

April Fool’s Episode. Paul joins a new network where they have to be terribly polite. Tallulah runs the Station. Special Chair - antiques section.

When Zap dies is it really him or his twin??

The last episode of the podcast - in case I die. Bettina thinks it’s an obituary and goes into mourning. Ikk... Use clip from 167 where the subject is mentioned.

THE BERT AND GERT SHOW 2

THE DAMEUS TWINKLEHORN SHOW 2
interviews the guys from THAT’S A SHAME

NOISY PUB COLOURS is Ikk’s band. Music from GarageBand.

CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOWS

XMAS SPECIAL
REVIEW OF 2018

DEC 1: Santa calls at end; will Ikk and Paul take over...

XMAS DAY: They get lost in space...

NYE: Find their way home... See Zap... but it can’t be!?!

Ikk and Cromitty On The run with Cuthbert - others help. The aliens are after him but no-one knows why. Cuthbert has co-ordinates for reconstructing a sentient hologram of Nathan. Paul and Toby were planning on going there.


Record last 2 year’s Xmas messages with Gladstone etc.

Record review of the year with different guests - Nick, regulars, Trowby and Lisa, Toppie

Ikk's sister returns - is it her or is it Zap. Her name is Zip. Is she Zap's girlfriend?

Find a way for Toppie to interview me about the Shy Yeti script book.


HALLOWEEN EPISODE 2019

Something with Fran the Buttermere Ghost coming to visit Paul - he wants to see London. Maybe he falls in love with a London ghost - or a man who's not yet dead. He’s a bit clumsy. He’s scared of the other ghosts! Maybe Fran is recorded using the other MP3 recorder. Also Albert Skype’s in and wants to join him. Paul pretends the connection is bad and then feels guilty. What is True Fear? Ask Trowby and Lisa - a list of things - is this scary? (ie: an octopus in a hat reading quotes from Noel Coward plays...)

Next Year Plot for Scotland

Paul goes to see Nessie with Ikk. They go sight-seeing! Nessie is a bit distressed - usurped by the Loch Ness chicken/ Hamster. Paul concocts a plan to get rid of the rivals who is destroying the reputation of the area by posing for photos etc. No air of mystery.


What if the cast had been changed?

Alternate cast members

They show up!?! But I thought you were only in my imagination!?!

Exeter McFafafafa - pretentious, oooh my gawd - all about him. Don’t be such a donkey!!

Amnesia Lovelyshoes - alien groupie - her sister Sasha-Ann eloped with an alien.

Mr Cyrus Hollyhock - old, is a reincarnated cat, prudish

Harry

Under-rated or Favourite things
Sketch
Sutton Park
With Toppie too?

KEW - WHAT HAPPENED TO DUSTY?

Paul sees ads about dandelion flavour this and dandelion flavour that and notices an address near Q Gardens. They go to investigate and see Dusty. He is alive but new plants have been grown from seeds. They try to rescue him! They may be able to grow a new one! What about the other plants!?!

SALISBURY - RECORDING WITH NICK AND ANDY

Another live show - January 2019 maybe?

Review something else (for Round The Archives)

1969/1974 Years?
1990
1978
1980-1983???
Discuss films instead of music
Other over-rated things
More Random questions - with Andy?

His new book

Jo

Over-rated things!
News!
Recent films

Recording with Toppie

See birthday special

LEIGH

Books
Films / TV
Holidays
Food
Animals/Hobbies
Music (listen/play it/live)

Discuss music 1993 onwards??

Maybe start with 1999?


What Really Happened At The Murder Mystery Weekend episode

We hear different characters talking about that night and later also learn that Dameus is involved!

See separate page

Additional Plots generated from episode 200:

Aunt T thinks Martin is an alien - or even Nathan in disguise!
Nathan is killed - whodunnit - he was shoved down stairs and his space gun went off in his pocket!
Martin turns out to be an investigator who was actually protecting them.
He doesn't want to arrest the person involved - but he wants to learn who they are because if Nathan's people find out they may still want to take revenge.
Dameus pushed him - but didn't realise that he would fall so badly. Only Ikk knows...
Paul is busy going to a mysterious meeting and calls in at the start...
Cromitty is working on Cuthbert with YUJ and playing clips from the archives -
He triggers something else in Cuthbert that is linked to Nathan...
They investigate...
We hear Paul with Martin - he accuses him but Paul denies it!
Martin has already talked to all the other who were there - we hear clips...
Cromitty asks Ikk and Dameus to help bring equipment over from the UFO...
They do but get stuck in a lift...
Ikk tries to call to Cromitty but they do not pick up...
Dameus wonders where Paul has gone to...
Ikk knows...
He says he also knows who pushed Nathan down the stairs...
Dameus confesses...
There are some clips...
Please don't tell Bettina... She might think badly of me!
We're all in danger. Ikk says he won't tell...
The are saved from the trapped lift...
Dameus calls Ikk - I feel I'm to blame... Bettina overhears... What are you to blame for?
Dameus says he feels to blame for the lift breaking down...
Bettina isn't sure... She calls Tappie... Are you free to chat?

Friday 24 August 2018

EPISODE 200 - BIG FATTY PLAYS THE VOICE OF IKK'S FATHER!!

BIG FATTY IS THE VOICE OF IKK'S FATHER...

This will probably appear as the pre-titles scene of episode 200 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST.

IKK: (talking to the listeners)

Goodness - it's been a long day listeners... We've got episode 200 ahead of us - in fact it's about to start any minute now - but I'm going to try and slip in 40 winks during the title music... You're going to like this, I promise you - there's a lot going on! We have a Murder Mystery Weekend to take part in - but I'm never going to get through it if I don't have a little nap. So, that's what I'm planning on doing until I'm called for. I'm all curled up on the sofa nice and snug, drinking one of those HOT-CHOC-O-LATE drinks with some of those delicious March mallows whilst I watch pop-vid-e-os on the tubes. Right now I'm feeling very sleepy now, listeners... Ever so sleepy... Sleepy... Sleepy....

Sleepy...

Within seconds Ikk is asleep; snoring even! We hear the word "sleepy" echoing - but then hear a voice.

IKK'S DAD: (a little mysterious)

IKK! IKKKKK! DO YOU HEAR ME?

IKK: (nervously)

Ohh... Oh! Who is this? You're voice sounds familiar - but I can't place it... I'm trying to sleep, you know - I have a busy time coming up... I have to fly all the way to America from the UKKK in my space ship...

IKK'S DAD: (enthusiastically)

But Ikk - you ARE sleeping... I am speaking to you in your dream...

IKK: (surprised)

Goodness! How ever did you manage that!?

IKK'S DAD: (almost losing his temper)

Look, I don't have time to tell you that - I have a gentleman caller due any minute and I need to polish the special chair first...

IKK: (confused)

Oh my! Really? Hmm... You definitely DO sound familiar, father...

IKK'S DAD: (normal, then with more authority)

Shhh now... I have an important announcement to make... Okay... I hearby declare that there will be no more SHY LIFE PODCAST little shows ever again...

IKK: (over-the-top)

WHAT? NO! SURELY NOT... PLEASE NO, FATHER - HAVE PITY ON ME - ON MY FRIENDS - ON THE LISTENERS...

IKK'S DAD: (giving in, slightly dismissive)

Oh, alright then... I simply can't bear to hear a grown alien cry... You can keep going until episode 3000 and then you must stop...

IKK: (slightly more relaxed)

3000!! But that mean that there is only two thousand, eight hundred to go... Hmmm... Okay... Well... I guess that will be enough to deal with for at least a year or two... Mr Yeti is very prolific, you know...

IKK'S DAD: (reassuring)

So I've heard... I'm glad you've made yourself some nice friends on Planet Earth, little Ikk... It makes me and your Auntie Poodle very happy to hear it...

IKK: (enthused/concerned)

Thank you, Father... That's all I've ever wanted to do - make you both proud of me... You ARE proud of me, aren't you Father? FATHER? Are you still there?

IKK'S DAD: (distracted)

Oh yes? What? I was just clipping my toe-nails and got distracted... Yes, we're both very proud of you, Little Ikk... Now, listen... I've got to go now and it's time for you to wake up?

IKK: (taken aback)

Wake up!?! What? ALREADY!?!

IKK'S DAD: (taking control)

Yes... yes... Of course... Didn't you know? A very special episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST is about to begin - and you're needed... So wake up... Wake up Ikk...

IKK: (in protest)

But FATHER...

IKK'S DAD: (insistent)

Goodbye for now... Just wake up... Wake up, Ikk... Wake up...

PAUL'S VOICE: (insistent)

Wake up Ikk...

IKK: (surprised)

Oh, Paul! It's you!

PAUL: (apologetic)

What's up? Had you dropped off? Sorry - did I disturb you?

IKK: (still a little sleepy)

I think I had, yes... Sorry... What's up?

PAUL: (excited)

It's time for episode 200, Ikk... Time for you to wake up... Time for us to run the theme music and get ourselves moving... It's all going to be terribly exciting...

IKK: (excited too)

Ooooooh! 

This little script was written between 14th and 16th August 2018, with some slight revisions after this date...

Thursday 9 August 2018

SHY YETI'S LONG-LOST COUSIN!!

SHY YETI AND LONG LOST COUSIN ALGERNON!!

This script was written between March and early July 2018 and is intended to be included as links for an episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST where Mr Yeti meets his long lost cousin Algernon. The rest of this episode will be ad-libbed around these scripted scenes/links for release later in 2018.

SCENE 1

To be played right at the start of the episode...

YETI: (embarrassed, speaking only to the listeners)

Hello listeners! I'm terribly excited today... You'll never guess what's happening - you really won't! It's okay - I'm going to tell you... (takes a deep breath, makes a slightly excited whimper) I'm about to meet a long-lost member of my yeti family! My long lost Cousin Algernon!! It's been a while coming... You may remember that I had a letter from him back a few months now; well - we've been emailing one another for a month or three and have been getting on very well... So now's time to finally connect. I was hoping that Yeti Uncle John would be able to join me, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen now - well, you know how busy he gets (add any relevant event specific to time of recording)... It's all terribly exciting - I can't help myself but keep talking about it to people... Have a listen to this, why don't you!?!

Of course John is being terribly sceptical - but the rest of the team are more positive...

AT THIS POINT PAUL TALKS WITH A NUMBER OF THE REGULARS - JOHN, CROMITTY, MARTIN, BETTINA, DAMEUS, ALBERT, CHARLIE GRRR ETC - BUT IT IS ALL AD-LIB...

There you go! At least not everyone is as negative as Yeti Uncle John - he was having a go at me because at some point I mistakenly called Algernon my Uncle, but it turns out he's my Cousin - John thinks it's suspicious, but I think he's just being extra grumpy. I mean, you know how complicated yeti families can be... So he's my cousin! My cousin... It's all been ironed out now! Well, kind of...

When I say that I'm about to MEET Long Lost Cousin Algernon this isn't strictly true - we're actually going to speak online, but I'm sure we will meet eventually - this is just the start... As I say - it's ever so exciting...

We hear the beep of a Skype call and then join the conversation a little way in...

YETI: (over-excitedly)

This is amazing! I can't believe that we've been able to connect like this... Isn't technology wonderful?

ALGERNON: (calmer, but pleased)

It is boy, it surely is... Although I do hope that one day soon we'll be able to meet in person...

YETI: (showing interest)

Sure... Where is it you're living at the moment? Philadelphia, is it?

ALGERNON: (somewhat vague)

Well, yes... Mostly... But I travel... I think it's in the blood - as I hear you're very keen on it too...

YETI: (enthusiastically)

What? Travelling? Oh yes... I love it! I've been all over Europe - but I'd love to come to Philadelphia... Maybe I could arrange a trip for next year... I've been to America on a number of occasions...

ALGERNON: (taking charge)

Yes... Yes... I'n sure that would be possible... Although what I think would be better would be if I came to you... I have a long history with London and I have some business to attend over there too...

YETI: (encouraging)

Really? Well, that would be marvellous... Just let me know when you're coming... Do you have a date?

ALGERNON: (suddenly becoming very vague)

Well, no... No... Not yet... It all depends on my funding...

YETI: (curious/nosey)

Oh yes? Funding from your work?

ALGERNON: (sounding quite mysterious)

Kind of, yes...But it's... well... it's a little unconventional... I mean, you might think it is - but it's actually pretty normal for people these days - especially when you're self-employed like me...

YETI: (trying not to probe too much)

Oh... Yes... Right... I don't think I have a clear picture of what you actually do... I wasn't sure if the travelling was for work or for play...

ALGERNON: (still vague)

A little of both, of course - but no... I have quite a lot of claws in a number of different pies...

YETI: (politely)

Oooh... That sounds awfully exciting...

ALGERNON: (sounding genuine)

I import bobble-hats for kittens - very rich kittens... That's one of the things I do... Woollen ones... Expensive wool... From very shy koala bears...

YETI: (slightly lost for words)

Oh... Gosh... Interesting... I imagine bobble hats like that must be really quite expensive...

ALGERNON: (in agreement)

Oh they are... They are... Very expensive... But, of course, it's only a small part of what I get up to...

YETI: (trying to remain casual)

Gosh... Well, you must tell me more... If you'd like to...

ALGERNON: (warming to the subject of talking about himself)

Well, when I'm not importing ever-so expensive bobble-hats for ever-so rich kittens I am also a party planner... That's where I make most of my money, to be honest...

YETI: (enthused)

Wow! A party planner - an INTERNATIONAL party planner from the sounds of it... What? Rich people call you up and say - come here and organise some kind of fancy shindig for me?

ALGERNON: (modestly/non-committal)

Something like that...

YETI: (very impressed)

WOW! Golly, you don't half live a show-biz jet-setting life, Cousin Algie... I can't wait to hear more!

ALGERNON: (thoughtful)

Yes... Yes... Well, as soon as I can get over there... I either need a party to come up that is going on in London or I need my next online fund-raising total to reach its target...

YETI: (surprised)

Oh... You can't afford just to travel outside of work?

ALGERNON: (vaguely)

Alas, no... Obviously I have loads of money for an emergency - but I'm afraid it's all tied up in shares and property at the moment... I really must show you some of the photos...

YETI: (surprised/excited)

You're building a house?

ALGERNON: (sounding quite smug)

Well... It's more of a hotel... A resort, let's say... Or it will be once it's done...

YETI:

Oh, wow... Will I be able to visit?

ALGERNON: (so generous!)

When it's done - yes, of course... You should come and bring all your podcasting friends...

YETI: (dreaming big dreams)

I will... Yes... I have friends in the States... Maybe we could even have our next podcasting conference in your hotel - when it opens...

ALGERNON: (business-like)

That would be terrific... But why not organise some kind of fanclub show for your podcast in London - get me to organise it for you and then we'll get to meet... I'd like to say just pay for the flight - but inevitably there would be expenses - my accountant gets mad with me for doing unpaid work; even when it is for relatives...

YETI: (modestly/playful)

Sure... Sure... Still... I'm not sure I have enough fans in the UK - or even in the whole world to fill up a conference hall... maybe a telephone box... Ha! Even then there'd still be room for a merchandising table or two...

ALGERNON: (supportively)

Hey, guy! Don't sell yourself short...

YETI: (sounding positive and full of ideas)

No... No... I'm not... I'm just being realistic... Still... I have an idea...

ALGERNON: (almost affectionately)

Hey! Look... I'm going to have to go now, furry-guy...

YETI: (hopeful)

Can we speak again soon? I want to have a word with the listeners and then I'll have a plan to share with you...

ALGERNON: (in agreement)

Fine... Yes... Sure... Good to talk to you; speak to you later...

YETI: (enthused)

Bye now... Great to talk to you... Hey... Algie... I was going to ask... (but the call drops) Oh! Oh... Well, never mind... Hey, listeners! I have an idea... I want to help my cousin... I really want to meet him and I can tell that he's a pretty proud kind of yeti - there's no way that he's going to accept me buying him a ticket... But if I can help by getting him over here as some kind of crowd-funding deal then I'm pretty sure that he'll be fine with that... I just have to think of something that I can do that people would be prepared to donate money to see... I'm going to come up with something and then I'll call him back... If you have any ideas do please let me know, won't you? Thanks listeners... Back in a bit... Moving on... Listen to something else and I'll speak to you in a bit...

SCENE 2

To be played in the middle of the episode...

YETI: (excitedly)

Hello, listeners! Well, things are happening... I emailed Cousin Algernon with all my ideas and he seems to love them... We're about to speak again - at any minute, in fact... I do hope that he likes what I've come up with... As I explained before - I'm not averse to a spot of fund-raising... (Skype begins to ring) Oooh... There he is... Hello Cousin Algie! How are you? It's lovely to chat with you again! What's the weather like? Is it rainy? I bet it isn't - it's America, right - I bet it's sunny... Really sunny - like probably too sunny - the sort of sun which makes you feel like you're beginning to melt... (rambling now) Hey! Do you think that can actually happen? Can it actually get that hot? I mean in America - because clearly it can be hotter enough like... in a volcano, say - or up on the sun...

ALGIE: (slightly awkward)

Errr... Yeah... It is kind of sunny, for sure... But just ordinary sunny - nothing too extreme...

YETI: (enthusiastically)

Oh, I am glad... Listen now! I have so many ideas to tell you about... Ideas for things that you could do to raise money for your journey over here...

ALGIE: (surprised)

Things that I could do?

YETI: (confused)

Err... Yes...

ALGIE: (selflessly)

You would be helping too, I take it... I mean... It might be difficult for me to do some of the fund-raising things alone, but; well, I guess if I must then I must...

YETI: (supportively)

Oh no... Sure... Sure! It's definitely something that I could do too if you wanted me to help...

ALGIE: (more at ease/friendly)

Hey! That's really helpful of you - much appreciated... Any chance of a coffee, by the way...

YETI: (muddled)

Errr... Yeah... I... Suppose... Is that possible... Sorry! Sorry... I don't mean to be stupid - but we're talking about Skype here... If I make you a coffee here then how do I get it to you? Fax?

ALGIE: (cheerfully)

Ha! No! You're about twenty years too late... It's all emails these days!

YETI: (playing along and trying to change the subject slightly)

Ah yes... Of course it is... But surely... No... No... Never mind... So how do you see all this charitable business working exactly?

ALGIE: (in charge)

Ah... Don't you worry... I have a list of things...

YETI: (curious)

Things that we could do?

ALGIE: (quite commandingly)

Well... Not exactly... Things that you could do specifically... I have plans of my own - I'm sure you have your own ideas too that we can consider - I know you said that you wanted to help. That's right, isn't it?

YETI:

Oh yes! Yes... Sure! So if I do stuff this side of the pond - then what is it that you'll be doing where you are...

ALGIE: (vaguely)

Ah... Hmm... Well, you don't really need to know that... Not at the moment, at least - I don't want to confuse you... You look like the kind of yeti that could be easily confused... Am I right?

YETI: (slightly unsure)

Oh yes... Yes, I guess so... So what are your ideas specifically for me? Nothing dangerous, I hope!

ALGIE: (vaguely mocking)

Dangerous!? Well... No... I mean my first suggestion was a sponsored walk - so as long as you don't select a route along The Great Wall of China or anything...

YETI: (with humour)

I doubt it... I really don't think I'd be up to that... I'm not sure the wall would be up to it either...

ALGIE: (bluntly)

You're not THAT fat, surely!?!

YETI: (slightly offended)

I never mentioned my size, Cousin Algernon... I think it's a fact that you can't walk from one end of the wall to another... It's not accessible... It's just not...

ALGIE: (quite business-like, almost dismissive)

Whatever you say... So... First up... A sponsored walk...

YETI: (mutters)

Within reason...

ALGIE: (misunderstanding)

In a reasonable location, yes... Right...

YETI: (trying not to be rude)

Alright... And? What else? It's all pretty standard stuff, so far...

ALGIE: (slightly lost for ideas)

Can you tap dance?

YETI: (not sounding sure)

I can try...

ALGIE: (warming to the suggestion)

On actual taps? On an actual sink? That might be fun...

YETI: (really not sounding keen)

As I said just now - I can try if it is so required...

ALGIE: (enthusiastic)

What about giraffe surfing?

YETI: (concerned)

Is that even legal?

ALGIE: (trying to sound like he actually knows something about the subject)

It is if you're prepared to gargle custard on the top deck of a London bus at the same time...

YETI: (playful)

What do YOU know of London buses, may I ask? I'm the Londoner - not you...

ALGIE: (snooty)

I'm only telling you what I read on the internet...

YETI: (chuckling)

Oh! Well, they'll put anything on the internet these days... There are videos of me reading poems in another country on the internet... Who'd have thunk it thirty years ago...

ALGIE: (bossy-sounding)

No-one probably... Right! Okay... Well, I've emailed you your instructions - so go check it out and get our plans in action; it should all come together pretty quickly if we get our act together...

YETI: (enthused again)

Come together? Really? Gosh... Right... Whatever you say... And what is that you're going to do again?

ALGIE: (hurriedly)

I will exist! It'll work! Just you see! Look... Got to go... Busy! Busy! Busy! (the call is broken)

YETI: (muttering to himself)

Oh! Really!? Gosh... What an odd sort of fellow he is... Now then... Let me see this email... Sorry, listeners - I've just got to look at this for a moment - sorry to keep you...

THIS WILL PROBABLY GO INTO AN AB-LIBBED SCENE WITH PAUL AND YETI UNCLE JOHN DISCUSSING THE BIZARRE CONTENTS OF THE EMAIL!!

SCENE 3

To be played towards the end of the episode...

YETI: (excitedly)

Hi listeners! I'm really quite tired today... I've spent the last few hours quite literally running around! I've done all manner of events for charity over the last week - raising money so Long Lost Cousin Algernon can come visit! The good news is that we've hit the target and I'm about to speak to him now to let him know that we've reached the goal and that he can finally come over and visit - we can finally meet! (There is the Skype noise in the background and Mr Yeti's voice brightens) That'll be him now! Hello! Hello!?! Cousin Algernon! Hello! It's me - your cousin, Shy Yeti... How are you?

ALGIE: (sounding distracted)

Oh... Yes... Yes... I'm fine... How are you doing? You said you had something to tell me...

YETI: (over-enthusiastic)

I've raised you the money, Cousin Algernon! We've done it!?

ALGIE: (keen, but not too over-the-top)

Marvellous! I knew I could... We could, sorry... Apologies...

YETI: (supportively)

No! No! If it hadn't have been for your ideas and encouragement...

ALGIE: (vaguely apologetic)

Good point! No... No... That's fair! I'm only sorry that I couldn't have done more myself; but you know how it is!

YETI: (hopeful)

Err... I guess so... Have you booked your tickets yet?

ALGIE: (distracted)

Booked my what?

YETI: (helpful)

Your tickets... To come to London...

ALGIE: (suddenly catching on)

Oh... No... No, not yet... I'll do it tonight, I promise...

YETI: (becoming overly perky)

Well, just let me know your dates and I'll get the time off - this is going to be so exciting and hopefully all my blisters from the sponsored events I undertook will be healed up by then...

ALGIE: (quick to get away)

I'm sure they will... Look - I've gotta go... I'll be in touch... Just wanted to let you know that I got the money and I'm looking forward to buying those plane tickets... Thanks again for all your help...

YETI:

Oh... No trouble at all... Hey... By the way... I've been working out an itinerary for your trip... I'll mail it over so you can let me know if you want to change or alter anything...

ALGIE:

Okay... Sounds great... Gotta go...

YETI:

Oh! Oh... Yes... Okay... See you soon, Cousin Algernon... See you soon...

The line falls dead...

BRIEF DIALOGUE 1

To be played after the end titles... Cousin Algernon leaves a message for Shy Yeti...

ALGIE: (upbeat)

Hi Yeti! It's me Cousin Algernon... How are you doing? Listen... Something's come up at work - things are a bit weird at the moment and I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to be able to get away to come over and visit you... Luckily I hadn't booked my tickets yet - but the money's there and safely banked - so as soon as I know when I can make this trip over to you then I'll be back in touch and I'll get something booked... Loved that itinerary thing that you emailed me - it all looks very good... Gotta go... Sorry about this... I'll call you again soon... Take care... Loving the podcast... You Brits... So silly,... Bye now!


The line falls dead...


BRIEF DIALOGUE 2

To be played after the end titles... Cousin Algernon leaves a message for an unknown caller - it might be Zap depending on when the episode is released - or it may be some other character; Other Dimensional Paul etc??

ALGIE: (more sly, somewhat suspicious)

Hey, it's me, Algernon... Yeah... Sure... Yes, I did what you said... No, I didn't speak to him - I just left a message... Yes... I was really upbeat... He'll never suspect a thing... Okay, yes... Yes, alright... I'll wait to hear from you... No... No... He has no idea... No idea at all... Come on, that Yeti is about as smart as a bag of rocks - it will never even occur to him... Okay... Okay, yes... Speak to you again soon... Goodbye now... Goodbye...

The line falls dead...

TO BE CONTINUED...

This script is copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.